Life Happens: Finding the Courage to Get Through It

Why do bad things happen to good people?  I’m currently reading Tiffany Haddish’s The Last Black Unicorn, and it really makes me feel a lot of things.  One is, damn, so much shit has happened to her, and at such a young age.  The black community really needs to put emphasis on mental health and molestation among our young people.  Both are things that occur in many a household, whether we want to address it or not.  Two, is damn, she always has a smile on her face and so goofy, how does she find her strength?  What does she do on her ‘off’ days- when she’s reflective, sad, and depressed?  What keeps her happy?  How does she stay sane?  How is she the goofy friend and also the strong friend?  She puts on the strong, happy face for us (the public) even when she’s not on stage, is it challenging?  (These are some things that you can ask your ‘strong’ friend, celebrity or not)  I’m curious what her self care regimen is, because sis, it’s seems bulletproof.  I love that despite everything that has happened to her, she doesn’t let it dim her light.  She definitely has a light, and it is bright AF. 

Foster care, being illiterate in high school, domestic violence, abandoned father, mother suffering from mental illness- these are some of the few things that she has documented in her book.  And don’t get me wrong, her book is hilarious overall, but there were some hard chapters to swallow.  It was tough reading about any human going through pain and suffering like this.  I closed the book to take a moment during one of the heavier chapters, and I see her face on the cover.  She looks so happy to be there and so full of hope.  I stare at the cover and wonder- how?  How long did it take you to get to that place of healing?  I know that what we put to the world is just a highlight reel (this cover included) but the joy in her face seemed so… real.  As a person who has been impacted by homelessness, poverty, and physical traumas, I have a lot of good days (and I have taken the steps to work on myself and heal), but I also have A LOT of bad days.  Days that I can’t explain how I’m feeling to anyone, how I just want to curl up in a ball, and just lay in bed and cry.  As many of the ups, there are downs. 

And then I realized, that is literally life.  The Ying and the Yang.  The Heaven and the Hell.  And she has come out on the other side.  Movie deals, commercials, comedy specials.  I’m not saying she’s living the life (I’m sure she’s still facing some uphill battles), but she is standing on her own two feet.  And she is doing what she loves.  And in this day and age, that is saying something.  Not many people can truly say that they are doing what they love and getting paid for it.  That is the ultimate American Dream to me.  Although her story is hard, I’m sure like most people that came out on the other side, she wouldn’t change it because it made her who she is.  That type of courage is so necessary, and it is something that I will constantly work on for the rest of my life.  I love and support her, so I already knew some of these stories- but really reading this story and getting a peak into her life has pulled her even nearer and dearer to my heart.  This has helped me to see that my story has a purpose, and so does yours.  More conversations can bring humanity closer together, you never know who you will help by sharing your truth.

She represents what finding your calling, working at it, believing in yourself, and having the courage to keep at it can help you achieve. I’m at a time in my life where I am at a crossroads in my life- professionally, spiritually, and personally, and her story is keeping my sane in some of my darkest hours.  I thank her for it.  She teaches us to turn a negative into a positive, just like reclaiming her ridiculed schoolgirl unicorn nickname.  She teaches us to dream big, even at fifteen at the county court house when she avowed that she was going to be a famous comedian.  She teaches us to be persistent with our craft, even when she was beaten black and blue just hours before performing.  The highs and the very lows.  She teaches us to just keep going, and one day it WILL pay off.  We must protect the last black unicorn at all costs.