2018 Tried It.

This is a journal entry from when I got fired from my first salaried job in June:

I was fired from my job yesterday.  When I first came into work, I found out that my supervisor and another employee on my team was let go. I had a bad feeling, but brushed it off.  I was sad, because I loved my supervisor.  I Just worked with her only two days before.  We were all just at the work retreat in Malibu (which was not mandatory I might add).  They let me work the WHOLE day, went to the weekly team meeting and everything.  Around 5pm, the office manager told me that the owner wanted to see me in her office.  I found it weird because we have NEVER had a one-on-one conversation, even though she had less than 50 employees, and I began working there when it was less than 30. 

She told me to close the door and sit down, I tried to reason with myself that maybe we were having a personal conversation about the retreat.  After all, I just looked at the leader board earlier in the day and was happy that I was top 3 or 5 for everything across the board- especially customer satisfaction.  I always come in earlier than what I was suppose to (I come in at 8:30 when I’m suppose to be there at 9) and I rarely requested work days off.  Also, I knew no one wanted to take my weekend shift, so I figured I was safe. 

Once I sat down, she told me we had a good run but that it was time to part ways.  She also said that I didn’t fit in with the company (I’m assuming because I’m not white and that I don’t kiss her ass) and brought up the retreat.  As it was not mandatory (some people didn’t even go), and on one of my off days, I thought I was showing initiative and team spirit by actually going.  I participated in the water sports activity (only a handful of us did) and was wiped out after that.  A few of us went upstairs to lay down on the bed during the yoga time- especially since there was not enough space in the living room for all 50 of us to lay our mats down and participate in the two-hour yoga session.  I mentioned all of this, and the fact that I was not the only one upstairs, and she didn’t have a response. 

But she did go on to say that I show effort but don’t always make the mark.  What mark?  How do I not make the mark when I am one of the top agents on all leader board?  She told me to ask my questions to another employee, who is not HR, because there is no HR in that company.  She gave me my “final check” and some unemployment papers. I kept my dignity and told her thank you for the opportunity to work at the company.  I collected my personal items from my desk (along with my notations on every micro-aggression I have ever faced at that office because I always had a feeling I may need it one day) and kept my composure with my head held high as I walked out. 

She had me escorted out the building by the office manager, although I am not sure why.  On the way to my car, the office manager gave me encouraging words and told me that she personally thought that I had a good spirit and was a genuine person.  I left the parking lot dumbfounded and not knowing what to do next.  I pulled over to the side and called my father on the east coast to ease my anxiety. I decided that I appreciated the job for getting me a bit more financially stable, and it was time to move on to what I drove 3,000 miles to do. Getting fired was probably one of the top blessings of 2018, it forced me to pursue my passion and take my career by the reins.

 

Fast forward to the end of 2018: I’ve been in a writer’s room for the second half of this year, sharpening my writing and collaborative skills. The second half of this year has probably been my most creative yet- I wrote 2 spec scripts, an original pilot, and a short film in the past 5 months.  Became assistant to Bentley Evans, someone who I’ve always looked up to without even realizing as a kid (showrunners and creators didn’t get as much love in the 90’s-early 2000’s as they do today, I’m almost positive). Made some dope connections and friendships since being at Harvest Studios, and it is an experience I’m sure no other room is like. P.S. those micro-aggression notes from my old job? Tossed; not worth it. No reason to look back, when I have such a bright present and future.

Don’t get me wrong; I’ve had many ups and downs, both professionally and personally. I’ve had days where I know I didn’t have enough food in the house or gas in the tank. Days where I was tired, depressed, and ready to quit everything. Days where I wasn’t strong enough. But the light and following His steps pulled me out. Everytime. The devil tried to knock me down, but as long as I was doing what I was suppose to do, God came in the clutch and got me out of every bind and situation I’d been in.

It definitely helps that I get to go to work and laugh for a living. Yes, there are some 18-hour workdays, but it’s damn sure worth it. Looking back on my year, I would have never guessed that I would’ve ended up where I’m at now. And I’m so thankful for this year; I learned a lot about what I no longer wanted to do, and it made me appreciate even more the place that I’m at now.

Cheers to the end of 2018, and cheers to a prosperous 2019!